What is the Point of an Intimate Relationship in my life? - Drianna

Hi Drianna, you seem to be asking, 'why do we love at all?' 

The underlying understanding for being with another person intimately starts with Plato.

​Here is Diotima’s answer to Socrates on why we love at all [the Symposium]:

‘If he who loves, loves the good, what is it then that he loves?' [said Diotima]

'The possession of the good,' I said.

'And what does he gain who possesses the good?'

'Happiness,' I replied; 'there is less difficulty in answering that question.'
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'Yes,' she said, 'the happy are made happy by the acquisition of good things. Nor is there any need to ask why a man desires happiness; the answer is already final.'

What this snippet says is: you don’t want a bad life, you want a good one (everybody does, right?), and all people, Plato argues, find their good life within an intimate (loving) relationship.

How Will Love Affect Your Life?

When you look for a lover for the good life that you desire, they also look for the same, and when you both come together that shared good life will unfold. Therefore, to unlock your true potential of life, you and your lover come together to create an intimate experience in pursuit of 'shared' and 'individual good'.

Don’t get me wrong in over-romanticising love. Yes, as you fall in love you will find a sense of perfection in your lover, and a sense of perfection in life. And absolutely, they will pledge to be faithful, honest, take care of you, and you will do the same for them. This idea of perfection and hard-won pledges puts many off love and intimacy because from the outside it seems false, especially after the elation of falling in love and the hard reality of living together kicks in.

Love is hard work at times. I’m not perfect, you’re not either and neither will your lover be. But you will come to accept all their imperfections as all lovers do. And through good sense, working as a team, feelings of pragmatic honesty, integrity and trust towards them you will find love will carry you through life’s tough journey with an overall feeling that LIFE REALLY IS GOOD.

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