Why does “I love you” feel so meaningless? - Christopher

Thanks for your question, Christopher.

I asked the same question, and after a lot of research on love found the answer.

​Here it is:

What many people don’t understand about love is it works at two levels. The emotional and the cognitive. When somebody says, I love you, they may be saying so at the lower emotional level only, or at a higher cognitive level, which also includes the emotional level.

What this means in every-day life is:
Somebody says to me, ‘I love you’, but they leave me anyhow. Why?

Maybe they don’t see a future for us, perhaps they have other obligations, or they think I treat them poorly. This happens all the time.

Their love is only emotional - they feel love only.

On the other hand, I say I love my wife, and I remain with her. Why?

I see a future with her, I am committed to her and our family, and she treats me well.

My love for her is both emotional and cognitive - I both feel love, and I want her in my life, to love.

​When someone says, I love you, and then they leave you, it’s not surprising that you feel the phrase is meaningless.

But when they mean it both emotionally and cognitively, you will soon realize that love is as wonderful as you dream it to be.

Did this Ask Cam post help? Have you any stories or comments to add for other readers. comment today below.

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You can read more on love in my popular book: Voyage to the Heart: The Nature of Love (Kindle and paperback)

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Find out more on the nature of love here

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