What are the different kinds of love?

There are 20 kinds of love across 4 categories that I have discovered in 14 years of research.

Here is a basic rundown:

• Romantic Love

Romantic – Sexually intimate love (Falling, Being and Staying in Love)

• Animate Love

Self Love - Love of self
Family Love - Love of one’s children, Love of one’s parents, Love of one’s siblings, Love of extended family members, Love of pets and animals
Friend Love - Love of friends, Love of companions, Love of comrades
Social Love - Love of local community, Love of mankind

• Inanimate Love

Object Love - Love of objects (real or imagined (things and experiences))
Ideal Love - Love of ideas (idealized objects and ideas)

• Religious Love

Eros - Love of Heaven and the path to the eternal
Philia - Love of the fellowship and God
Agapē - God’s love
Nomos - Love of God’s will
Source: Voyage to the Heart: The Nature of Love

All loves share a common root - The 3 Pillar model of love:

The Three-Pillar Model

When you love (regardless of who or what you love), you do so emotionally (bottom layer) where you emotionally value, commit (are concerned (worry) about your beloved) and attached.

You also, at a conscious level (top layer) find your beloved immensely valuable, you assure them of your commitment to be there whenever and wherever they need you and you take up a sense of ownership.

You do these three things at the reasoned layer because they are good (and life is good with them), they meet your needs, respect your rights and match your values (and where they don’t you accept that), and they are in some sense perfect (a kind of perfect-imperfect).

All of these things make for a robust loving relationship. Every loving relationship you have fits this model.

Wow! you might think.

Take some time to soak this in. You will find when all three vertical columns and all three layers are in place, love is in place, regardless of the beloved. When any element is missing, love is lost.

My new little Novella We All Want Love (an hour’s read, tops) explains this in easy terms for those looking for answers. For a detailed look at love, you will find answers in my main work: Voyage to the Heart: The Nature of Love.​

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